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World’s Coolest Exterminator – Mickey Ferrell? Probably.

Who is the world’s coolest exterminator?

world's coolest exterminator

World’s Coolest exterminator

By: Mickey Ferrell Jr

The world is large and home to all of the coolest exterminators that I know. Exterminators are cool by nature. Who else would brave the darkness of your attic, on a cool winter’s eve, to track down something that “sounds huge, as big as a man, and I think it was growling!”? Definitely not plumbers, they’re not nearly as cool. Nope, the only people in the world cool enough to tackle this problem are your local exterminators.

Despite the inherent outer worldly coolness of your local exterminator, there can be only one ‘ world’s coolest exterminator ‘. Unfortunately, for all the rest, I’m in fact the world’s coolest exterminator.

How could Mickey be the world’s coolest exterminator?

World's coolest exterminator -exhibit a

Dramatization- This is not my actual mom. This is an actor portraying my mom, exclaiming, “You’re the world’s coolest exterminator!”

The evidence is overwhelmingly in my favor. Just check the proof of my world’s coolest exterminator claims.
Exhibit A: My mom said just the other day (may not be an exact quote),

“Son, You are the world’s coolest exterminator!”

My mom wouldn’t lie.

Exhibit 2: The extermination industry’s coolest magazines (Pest Management Professional and Pest Control Technology) come addressed: 

worlds coolest exterminator

Mickey Ferrell – Bug Master Extraordinaire

These are professionals who write only about exterminators, or as we like to call ourselves pest management professionals. These people would obviously know who is the world’s coolest exterminator. They have given me, in great wisdom,  what is likely the world’s coolest exterminator job title (on a magazine cover).

 

Exhibit C: As I type this it is currently 33 degrees outside and I’m sitting near a window. An arctic blast for sure, contributing to the coolness of this exterminator. I’m pretty sure 33 degrees is right before absolute zero. Further proving me to be the world’s coolest exterminator, literally. Right above absolute zero.

Well there you have it, a factual accounting of the factors that make Mickey Ferrell – Bug Master Extraordinaire, the world’s coolest exterminator.

How would you define the world’s coolest exterminator?

 

 

Note to other exterminators: Do not take offense to the fact that you are not the world’s coolest exterminator. You are certainly quite cool.  I’m sure your skills at actual exterminating are quite good. Unfortunately, skills alone aren’t enough in this competition. You must provide the “it” factors above, to claim the right to call yourself, World’s Coolest Exterminator. Here is a handy decision chart to help you decide if you are the World’s Coolest Exterminator.

 

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